5 Habits To Cope With Uncertainty

10 min read

The past year and a half have been undoubtedly hard for a majority of people worldwide. Apart from existential threats on all corners, mental health has deteriorated for many, due to a lack of perspective. Constant uncertainty, which up until last year was relatively easy to ignore, is now something we are forced to face on a daily basis.

As I touched upon in my post about how to cope with overthinking, humans love the idea of being in control of life. The truth is, we actually have no control over anything, and life is a mountain of uncertainty, and realizing this is one of the scariest revelations one can make. Coming to terms with it, on the other hand, is the only thing that will ultimately set you free.

On a more positive note, there are things you can do to help you cope with this ever-present uncertainty, especially in this whirlwind of restrictions, vaccines, lockdowns, and fear we find ourselves in nowadays.

The past year and a half have been really hard for me, personally, as well. At the beginning of 2020 every ounce of certainty I had clung to in my life seemed to dissipate, with life plans canceling or being completely turned upside down. In an attempt to hold onto my sanity, I developed 5 habits, that have since helped me through some of the hardest months in my life so far.

I am not sure where I would mentally (or physically) be today, had I not found these pillars to cling to, which is exactly why I want to share them, to potentially alleviate some discomfort of this uncertainty for someone else.

Remember, as scary as life may seem, you will ultimately be okay. Uncertainty is not always fun, but at the same time, it holds infinite possibilities and opportunities!

1. Meditation

Yeah, I know, you’ve heard me talk about this in a lot of my posts already… I even dedicated an entire post to meditation! But hear me out, there is a reason I put so much emphasis on this habit!

Meditation is not only great for coping with anxiety, it also helps you gain a greater understanding of yourself and your thoughts. This will in turn really help you with coping with uncertainty.

I’ve noticed that my daily meditation practice is what helped me get more grounded every single day, no matter how anxious I was feeling. In those few minutes I allowed myself to not worry, and more often than not, that feeling of letting go of control carried over into the hours afterwards.

A great mantra that I like to use during meditation is “I choose to let go.” Maybe you’ll think I’m crazy, but in times of greatest internal turmoil, this is exactly what I needed to tell myself over and over again during my practice, to actually let go of expectations and thoughts of helplessness.

Sometimes, when the mind is particularly anxious, it is good to have a sentence (or mantra, or affirmation) to focus on, in order to calm down your busy thoughts. If you like this tactic, there are thousands of mantras out there you can use. For me personally, “I choose to let go” simply helped the most when my mind was running in circles around certain images/ thought patterns.

2. Journaling

By that, I don’t necessarily mean “Dear Diary….” (although, if that’s your thing, that’s great, too!)

For me, journaling is a way to dump out all my thoughts on paper. You can journal any way you want, there is really no right or wrong way to go about it.

Maybe you like Bullet journaling, maybe you want to jot down what happens every day, maybe you want to focus on your feelings at that moment, or maybe it’s a mix of all of the above and changes every day. Your journal is yours alone, you can really express yourself any way you like.

But how does journaling help in times of uncertainty?

First of all, writing out everything that is on your mind will really help you let go of it, and then see it in a more objective light. Thoughts can feel so daunting in our brains, but when we read what we wrote, it helps to approach the issue from a less emotional standpoint.

Sometimes writing about a subject can bring revelations, as well. With certain “scary” topics, they will surface in our mind and we quickly push them back down because they make us feel anxious/ sad/ uncertain/… By journaling, you give yourself permission to let these things surface and you give them space to be thought about. You’d be surprised how much can actually be resolved simply by taking the time to think about it and write it out.

Lastly, it is a great habit longterm. Sometimes I look back at old journal entries where life was completely uncertain and I felt lost. Reading this, and seeing where life led after that makes me feel more confident when facing new uncertainties, that these, too, will pass and turn into something beautiful eventually.

3. Gratitude

No matter how uncertain and scary times may seem, there is always something to be grateful for. By that I don’t mean neglect your feelings and fill yourself with “toxic positivity”, but simply getting in the habit of collecting a few things that fill your heart with joy, will help you shift your mental state.

Have you ever noticed, that when you are looking into buying a new car for example, and you like a certain model, that model seems to appear at almost every corner? This is because our mind gets millions of inputs each second, we just consciously notice those that our awareness is focused on.

This is why focusing on gratitude for a few minutes a day can help you shift your awareness to more positive things and help you not feel so hopeless during harder times! It will also fill you up with joy when you need a little emotional pick-me-up.

This can be done with a gratitude journal, or simply by taking a few minutes to think about what you are grateful for. I like to end my meditations with a little bit of gratitude, for example.

If you’re at a point where you feel like there is nothing to be grateful for, start small! “I’m grateful for the sunshine coming in through the window.” or “I am grateful for the couch I’m sitting on.” or “I’m grateful I get to take a beautiful shower today.” or “I’m grateful for the coffee I have here.” or “I’m grateful for the little kid laughing on the street outside.”

The more you practice gratitude, the more you will realize, that it is not the big events, the vacations, and the purchases that make your life beautiful, it’s the tiny moments in between, the art in the mundane. Find it!

4. Find safety in yourself

So often we rely on outer things - people, outcomes, events - to make us feel good. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, nothing in this world is certain. The only thing that will always be there is yourself. And that’s exactly why it is so important to find safety within yourself, to learn how to self-soothe, and to be okay with being by yourself.

I think the pandemic took a heavy toll on people mentally, not only due to the obvious factors of uncertainty but also because the pandemic forced people to be by themselves in isolation, without constant distraction. This can be scary, especially in a world where we are constantly being distracted.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with seeking comfort in a partner, a friend, the idea of an upcoming event. The only difference is, would you be okay without it? Finding this safety within yourself, knowing that no matter what, you got you, and you will be okay, is the most liberating feeling ever.

There will be times when people won’t be available and learning to still be okay, soothing yourself, and being content is a big thing you can do to not be so scared of uncertainty.

How do you do that?

Learn to spend time by yourself doing things you love! Read a book, find a hobby you enjoy (maybe try cooking a new recipe or baking yourself a cake), treat yourself the way you would treat a partner or friend, and see how nice you can make life for yourself.

Also, find out what helps you in times of distress when nobody is there to comfort you. Does journaling help you? Screaming? Crying? Working out? Creating art? Whatever it is, explore it and learn how to soothe yourself.

Knowing that you have people to comfort you, but that even if they are unavailable, you will be okay soothing yourself will help a lot in times of uncertainty.

5. Open up to others and share experiences

You’d be surprised how similar some of our experiences are. Especially in times like these, with a worldwide pandemic, a lot of people are going through very similar feelings and struggles.

Opening up to people you trust and sharing your experience can feel really liberating. Although not ideal, it will help to know that you are not alone in this mass of uncertainty. Everyone is struggling to some extent, and sharing these struggles can really lift a burden off your shoulders.

Life will always be uncertain

If anything, this pandemic has taught us what we used to suppress with all our might - life is uncertain and our entire reality can change in a matter of days.

Is that scary? Yes, very.

Has it ever been any other way or will it ever be any other way? No.

So all we can really do (unless we want to freak out for the rest of our lives and live in constant anxiety) is to embrace this uncertainty and learn to coexist with it. Finding anchors of safety in your day-to-day life and especially in yourself.

Building up habits that make you feel safer and keeping in mind that uncertainty is simply the existence of infinite possibilities - how exciting!